


Boink & Oink

by Dracothelizard



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hot Dog Stand Owner, Anal Sex, Bacon Flavoured Lube, Bad Bang, Bad Fic, Bottom Will Graham, Caring Will, Crack, Deliberate Badfic, Dogs, First Time, Hannibal is a Cannibal, I have never seen a single episode of Hannibal, Implied Cannibalism, M/M, No Commas, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Rimming, Sausage puns, Terrible Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:39:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracothelizard/pseuds/Dracothelizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Graham meets Hannibal the hot dog stand owner in the park when he's walking Winston and then later they go back to his place for sexytiems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boink & Oink

**Author's Note:**

> The bacon flavoured lube exists and is called Boink and Oink. Google it. 
> 
> All I know about Hannibal I know through fandom osmosis.
> 
> AND OMG LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS ART AAAAAH SO PERFECT!!!: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2232195 (contains spoilers)
> 
> (Also feel free to do podfic for this if you feel like it!)

Will Graham was walking his dog Winston in the park. He enjoyed the park it was nice and sunny and filled with other people hanging out or also walking their dogs. Will Graham liked people he was a very nice man who cared a lot about people. That made his job as a profiler for the FBI difficult sometimes as he would get overwhelmed by caring for the victims of serial killers and also trying to see serial killers as people and what drove them. So the slender bespectacled curly-haired brunette man was very happy with his dog Winston because Golden Retrievers were loyal devoted and not complicated at all. It was very nice to come home after a long day at work and simply cuddle Winston and pet him for a while.

He passed the fountain and frowned as he saw something new. A hot dogstand with a man behind it. But it wasn’t the usual hot dogstand or the usual man. It was a tall man with fine features in a three piece tailored suit a pristine white apron covering the front as he prepared the sausages. That was very unusual and Will was very curious why a man in such a nice suit would be behind the hot dogstand. He also wondered what happened to the previous hot dogstand guy. Maybe he was ill.

 Winston was already tugging on the lead to go to the hot dogstand and Will went with him. He was too curious not to ask the man about why he was dressed in such a nice suit. And the man was attractive so that doubled Will’s interest. Normally he was very shy around people even though he liked them but having Winston there made things easier.

 Will walked closer and closer but just when he was about to greet the hot dog standguy another man quickly jumped in before him and Will frowned. He was pleased to see that the attractive man behind the hotdogstand frowned slightly too but it was barely noticeable. Will noticed because he was such a caring guy who observed people closely.

 “Gimme one with double cheese chili sauce mustard and onions” the newcomer demanded then turned back to his cellphone conversation.

 Will observed the hot dog owner’s face closely and not just because he was attractive. There was another slight frown and the narrowing of those clear eyes at the newcomer who hadn’t noticed the hot dog standguy’s rising irritation. Nonetheless he prepared a hot dog for the man presenting it neatly on a paper plate along with a napkin folded into a swan.

 The rude man nodded and handed over the money waiting for his change before muttering a thanks and leaving with his hot dog.

 “And how may I help you?” the hot dogstand owner said his tones clipped and polite.

 Will smiled at him. “I would like a hot dog with regular cheese barbecue sauce onions and tomatoes please.”

 “Certainly.” The hot dogstand owner skillfully prepared Will’s bun for him. “Anything for your animal companion?”

 Will looked down at Winston who whined pleadingly. “And one extra long sausage for my dog Winston. So” he said nodding at the nice suit. “Aren’t you worried that’ll get dirty?”

 The hot dogstand owner smiled. “No only bad cooks let their clothes get dirty. I have been here since 8 AM and not a spot on me or my apron.”

 “You’re very good” Will smiled back feeling his cheeks flush a little. “At cooking and hot dogs I mean.”  

“I am very good at many things” the hot dogstand owner replied sliding his sausage smoothly into Will’s bun before adding some barbecue sauce. He handed Will his bun on a paper plate and the sausage for Winston along with two neatly-folded napkins.

 “Maybe I’ll come back and find out” Will joked hoping this counted as flirting. It did for him. He paid the hot dogstand owner the man briefly touching the palm of his hand.

 “I hope you do” the hot dogstand owner murmured silkily.

 Will walked away giving Winston bits of the sausage and eating his hot dog happily. It really was delicious. He unfolded the napkin shocked to see it had a written message.

 MEET ME AT THE HOT DOG STAND AT 6

 XOXO HANNIBAL

 Will blushed and turned to stare at the hot dogstand owner who smiled and nodded at him. That only made Will blush more. “I think I’ve got a date Winston” he muttered still in shock.

 That evening Will was back at the hot dog stand and so was Hannibal now without his apron. His hair was still as impeccable as ever and Will felt scruffy in comparison. “So er I don’t usually do this…”

 “Nor do I but I felt a connection Will. You fascinate me” Hannibal replied eyeing Will.

 Will smiled. Hannibal fascinated him too. “So do you wanna go to a restaurant or -”

 “We should go back to my place. I want to know you… intimately” Hannibal purred.

 “Okay” Will said. Because he cared about people and knew them well he could tell that Hannibal wasn’t some crazy psychopath. It would be totally safe to go back home with him.

 Hannibal’s home was very clean and very stark and modern and once again made Will feel inadequate. However the ravenous way Hannibal kissed him soon chased away his fears. Soon they were kissing eagerly on Hannibal’s kingsized bed the silk sheets rustling underneath them as Hannibal peeled layer after layer off Will’s and his clothes of.

 “You dress so well for a - a hot dog standowner” Will murmured when Hannibal licked his neck.

 “There’s no reason why hot dog standowners can’t have standards” Hannibal replied biting down and making Will moan. His clever hands slid down Will’s bare back and cupped his buttocks kneading them firmly and spreading them. “Wait I need supplies.”

 Will lay there panting as hard as he watched Hannibal lean over to his nightstand and take something from the bottom drawer. Hannibal had perfect smooth pale skin and he reached out to stroke the man’s back.

 Hannibal returned by his side holding up a bottle of lube and a condom. “We’ll be needing this” he purred.

 Will frowned when he took the bottle and read the label. “Bacon flavoured lube? Does that even exist?”

 “It’s my own special recipe I admit.”

 “What’s in it? There is regular lube in it right?” Will asked worried.

 “It is KY Jelly based along with some secret ingredients. If I told you I’d have to kill you” Hannibal said charmingly.

 “That’s very impressive” Will said impressed with Hannibal’s skills. “That must be really hard.”

 “You have no idea” Hannibal replied squirting some of the bacon flavoured lube onto his index and middle fingers. “Try it.”

 Will tentatively licked Hannibal’s fingers. “Mmm it does taste like bacon!” He quickly swallowed down the two fingers further sucking on them eagerly.

 “I hoped you’d like it” Hannibal murmured pulling his fingers out. “Now let’s do some rimming it goes very well with asshole.”

 Will believed him immediately and moaned and writhed on the bed as Hannibal rimmed him after spreading the bacon flavoured lube around and in his asshole. “Oh God!” he moaned.

 Then he rimmed Hannibal and he loved the taste of asshole mixed with bacon.

 Hannibal tenderly prepared Will for his massive cock using a lot of delicious bacon flavoured lube and fucked him passionately but in a really classy way. They both had several orgasms and Will was sated when he sank into Hannibal’s arms several hours later.

 “That was the best sex I have ever had” Will said resting his head on Hannibal’s shoulder.

 Hannibal was stroking his hair. “I know. I liked it too.”

 Will was about to fall asleep in Hannibal’s arms when Hannibal slipped out of bed. “What?”

 “I have to go and prepare my sausages for tomorrow” Hannibal declared. “It’s best if you leave.”

 “Oh.” Will was sad.

 “But perhaps if you walk your dog again tomorrow you can buy one of my fine hot dogs. I will make them extra good for you Will.”

 “That would be nice” Will said feeling happier. “And I have an early morning at work so it’s for the best.”

 “Sleep well Will. I will see you tomorrow. With my best sausages” Hannibal said smiling at Will as he put his clothes on left.

 “Unless that same guy cuts in line again” Will joked.

 “He won’t” Hannibal announced.

 “He might. It was no big deal. Gave me more time to watch you” Will said. He had already forgotten about the rude customer.

 “He won’t be back again tomorrow. I’ve made sure of that” Hannibal declared.

 Will shrugged. “Okay. See you tomorrow Hannibal.” He kissed Hannibal before going outside.

 “See you tomorrow Will.”

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Boink & Oink - Art](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2232195) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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